Who would have thought it would get this complicated. Who would have knew that it would be so difficult. Nobody. When I see you like that, I feel so guilty, I feel so bad, guilty and heartless to have done something like that. I feel so evil, like as if I am the worse person on earth. But, isn’t it better like that? Isn’t it much easier like this? I don’t know. I feel like I am fighting against myself, fighting so hard. Pushing and fighting, seconds after seconds, minute by minute. It’s tough, it’s painful but I have to be strong, I have to pull through this. I know that I can and I will. It’s just ME against MYSELF right now. I don’t know about you, but I know it hurts me to see you this way, I am so guilty and I am trying so hard to make it up to you. I am trying my best to prevent myself from being to soft-hearted. What makes you weaker should make you stronger. So, here I am, trying to convince myself that everything is going to be alright, everything is going to be fine. This is what I want and this is what I’ve got, this was my decision and thus I stand by it till the very end. No matter how difficult or painful it is, I am trying to pull through it. I hope that this would make me a stronger person and not make me give in to my guilt and loneliness. I am trying very hard. I am fighting, MARINA vs. MARINA.

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