I haven’t been blogging much lately. Dealing with certain problems, tough for me, but I have to deal with it cause it’s my problem. Anyway, we all have problems. Some that we are not willing to face. Some that when we face we start feeling helpless. I’ve failed to face my problems so many times, I keep trying and I keep failing. I know that I can pull through this, but I don’t know how long it will take, I don’t know how it will take place, all I know is, I can, as long as I stay strong, I can.
THEN, the problems starts coming back again, tried running away, but failed. Why? IDK. I failed again. Adding to my great disappointment, I feel like a complete failure. After I fail, the problem takes a complete control over me. Instead of me overcoming it, if has defeated me and once again it has beaten me down. The next day, I try to climb up again, I was a complete failure the night before, but today, I try again. Don’t know how it will work out but I am trying.
I try to stay strong, but I realize sometimes I am not strong enough. I feel like giving up so many times, feel like just throwing it away. But I can’t, cause I know that deep down inside, I want to help myself. I want to get rid of this problem. Every minute, I try staying strong, strong enough to pull through the day to start another day as soon as possible. Sometimes, I FAIL AGAIN. I ask myself ‘Why are you such a failure?’ then, the problem attacks me again. It’s a never ending vicious cycle I am in.
I want to help myself so badly, but sometimes I can’t.
Today, I am trying again.